i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
