Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
