Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
