I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
