If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
