Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
