is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
