Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I have post one night stand depression
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