I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
