i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
