the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
