Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize