Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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