Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
