a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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