the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
