aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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