so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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