I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We were destined to go to rehab together
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
