I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
pray to the hookup gods
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
