ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
