i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
