My nipple is on Facebook.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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