The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
