I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
