I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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