omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
