Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Congratulations! We have a period
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
