Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
