Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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