i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
