no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize