I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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