I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
