It's Friday. Sex?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
