when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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