belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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