I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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