Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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