so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
