somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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