i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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