Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
