I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
