My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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