I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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