CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
