theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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