Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
