how can u be prego again
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
