Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
