you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
my poor anus
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
