just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Let's paint friendship bongs
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
