i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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