I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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