My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
