Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
