man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
MIDGETS
????
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
