what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
