We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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