his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize