For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
