Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize